oh, you beautiful woman.

today's quintessential woman is one that is equal to super-woman. she brings her family together for dinner while juggling work and dealing with cranky children and a boss that could be the re-incarnation of satan. the question here, is if all of these things make her a "super woman" or a woman that finds her nemesis in the mirror? in this day and age, women are all about power too. gone are the days where they sat patiently at home watching dramatic soap operas on the television and chopped onions. today, it's even the other way around. do these things make a woman insecure?

on a lazy sunday afternoon, i sat with my grandmother to have our regular sunday conversations. she always looks extremely calm and composed, and i don't remember a time when i have heard her speak out of turn. a person with her own opinions, she still found her way and her path to womanhood through acceptance. She quoted once, "In those days, we used to wait patiently, we cooked food for 12 people a day. all by ourselves. if we worked, we were teachers, or we did social service at centers for children. we were very much unlike you girls", in her crackling voice.

i always wonder if they never had any questions and if they just did things because they were told to. back then, women played a major role in the house. but oustide, they hardly ever had a say. they were almost always confined to their batter-making machines and the traditional art forms that they pursued, like dance and music. they were pretty much blessed with great genes because of the simple life that they led.

on a completely different hand, a woman of today would absolutely disagree with a woman from the 80's. today, women are all about debating. she can talk her way through a divorce or anything related to money, power, politics, finances and sex. what can a woman of today not handle?

does that make her or break her?

in spite of all the pressure that a woman faces today, what makes her beautiful is her inner strength. the strength to be heard in a man's world, the strength to be a supportive mother, and the strength to blast her way through life without being a doormat.

that beauty is to be admired.
and that strength, is within every one of us.

praise you, you beautiful woman!

constantly changing.

do you believe in change? do you think it has happened to you?

it's happening to me. or so i think. hence the interrogation. so what keeps me smiling?

ok, let's rewind.

so i had a disastrous year. while switching between cities and shuttling between two parts of my brain, i have been trying to live what we call "life". while i am happy for people who have moved to a new city, a new country even, i miss them. at every juncture. at every point. in my opinion, happiness is overrated. for all this talk about finding joy in small things, if life were that simple, we'd all be happy by now. we'd have all that we want. but the truth is that even if we have the chance to be happy, we choose the road that takes us down to the other side (the boring one....little dark too).

there are a couple of things that have been missing in my life for a while now, the first one being enthusiasm.

where is all the enthusiasm in the world people? does nothing excite us anymore?

are we bound to just sit there and not care about anything or anyone that walks the face of the earth?

the next being a driver's license.

i don't know what pushes me away from the thought of being a legit driver. plain stupidity and procrastination on my part.

third being some kind of stability in making choices - that's pretty self explanatory.

you see how hard i'm trying to find a problem in my life? you see what i'm doing right there? that's exactly my point. if you really really think about it, you're not missing too many things if you're content with most things around you.

i'm trying to be thankful for what i have.

i'm trying to be normal. bright and shiny.

it's working. i'm changing...slowly but steadily. :)